Monday, October 3, 2011

Identity Crisis

I transition well.  This is not a braggart statement, just a fact.  When I moved 500 miles away from home to go to a college where I knew absolutely no one, I cried when my parents drove away, and that was about it. 

I was so ready to move on, to become the person I thought I could be, to grow up.  And I did.  In high school, I was sort of socially awkward (contain your shock please), but in college, I had the best group of friends ever.  They make the friends in Friends (the TV show, keep up!) seem like mere acquaintances.

I got involved and was pretty well-known for being a hard worker and a leader in academics and in the workplace.  My last year especially, I felt like I had become exactly who I wanted to be, finally.

Then I moved again.  Except for a brief period the very first week, I transitioned well again.  But. Now that a couple of months have passed in this new place, I am re-evaluating where I am.

My hubbers and I are part of a new church plant in one of the neighborhoods in Portland.  We have been meeting with the pastor and the core group about once a week to get to know each other and set the foundation for the church.  And last night at one of these meetings, I realized I have no idea what my identity is.

I know WHO I am, of course.  This is more a question of what my place is.  All that hard work defining myself in Chicago gone down the pooper, I know.  Let’s have a moment of silence for the loss and move on.

So I looked around and saw SO many talented people.  The singer, the financial person, the painter, the building guy, the landscaper, etc.  These people have got it figured out (not really I know, but it sure seems like it).

And all of the places I might fit in have already been filled by people far more talented and qualified than I.  So what is my place in this church?  What is my place as a friend here, when almost all of my friends are long distance?  What is my place in the workforce, or as a young wife? What is my place in this thing called adulthood?

That’s what I’m working through now, friends.  Am I the only one dealing with a bit of an identity crisis after so many changes?

Though I have zero answers (just a lot of questions obviously), I do know this one thing: I am an absolutely beloved daughter of God.  And though that doesn't answer all the questions either, I’m trusting that for now it answers the ones that really matter.


  1. You and I have a lot more similarities then I think we might know of...Just sayin

  2. Well it's good to know I'm not the only one feeling these things!